HOW TO HAVE A SUPPORT GROUP THAT WORKS?
"The Wilderness had entered them
while they were alone and starving with nothing to eat. The force of that entry,
irresistibly gentle as the pressure of starlight, faulted, folded and uplifted them like
the mountains they stood on. The Great Spirit of the Universe had heard their cry and had
sent the bellies of their souls something to eat: dawn." (Steven Foster, 1980, p. 51)
GOALS: 14.1 To create a climate of trust for peer support givers;
14.2 To explore the factors that enhances relationships;
14.3 To develop a cooperative structure for the peer support network.
COMMENT: The rationale for this module is to build a supportive
structure that will be the basis for future working meetings for the peer support givers.
Obviously, the success of the peer support network depends on the active involvement of
the volunteers. Coordinators and sponsors of the peer support network therefore need to
maintain continuous association with the volunteers to assist them in their work. The
support group offers participants a chance to share their experiences with other peer
support givers and continue their training in areas that will help them do their work
better. Our experience with successful groups reinforces the need for a support group. The
support group should be scheduled at a time and place that is convenient for everyone in
the training program. Some groups meet for one or two hours once or twice a week, while
others may meet for two hours once a month. The following activities are designed to help
the participants feel positive about their experiences as peer support givers, provide
them with information that can help them be more effective and furnish the coordinator or
sponsor the opportunity to provide supervision to the participants.
ACTIVITY 14.1: Helping Circle: Supportive Behaviours?
TIME: 20 Minutes
DIRECTIONS: Form the group into a circle and ask the participants to
consider the following question: "What are things others have done in the past that
made you feel supported?" You can begin by briefly sharing what someone did to make
you feel supported in the past (e.g. a pat on the shoulder or an encouraging word). As the
participant share their ideas, write the supportive behaviours on a blackboard. At the end
of the sharing, summarize the list and ask the participants if they exhibit these
behaviours.
ACTIVITY 14.2: Presentation
TIME: 20 Minutes
TITLE: The Importance of a Support Group
When you have answered the question from the previous activity, restate
that the best thing others can do is to be a good listener, not just listening in a
passive manner, but truly listening. This means understanding and accepting what is said
and how it is said. Accepting does not mean agreeing; it means that no matter what is said
it must be accepted unequivocally.
You might also say that you would like to be valued. To be valued is to
be thought of as somebody of worth. Many people in our society are simply not respected
for a variety of reasons. We all know people who hold negative preconceived notions of
others. It is as if these people think being different is somehow considered less
valuable. Experiencing these kinds of reactions can cause one to "turn in on the
self," to become angry, or just to become passive. Although passivity makes it easier
to avoid disagreements, we all know it can work against you in the long run. In fact, the
healthiest response to injustice is anger. Nonetheless, to experience negativity from
others ,regardless of the reason, undermines one's self-esteem which ,in turn, translates
into a loss of value for that individual. Not being valued can deprive us of a sense of
autonomy. Without a sense of autonomy, people will, subsequently, feel they are not valued
- which creates an endless cycle. To be valued is to be respected and wanted. A cardinal
rule of the peer support program is to ensure everyone we deal with has a positive sense
of self worth.
Openness of manner and being is a very supportive act on the part of
others. To be open is not to be protective or defensive, but to be willing to accept
others as they are. After all, everyone is different and unique. Perhaps you have had the
experience of being out in the forest on a hot day, feeling very thirsty. You wish to
drink from a stream, but you cannot drink the water if your hands are clinched. You can
only do it when your hands are open. If you approach those needing help with the same
"open hands" attitude, you communicate an accepting attitude. This kind of
optimism is empowering. Thus, effective helping is not only talking about problems, but
talking about successes. A positive attitude in others' ability to succeed is the most
empowering thing you can do to help others.
A supportive person wants to be helpful. Carl Rogers (l973) says what
people find most helpful in helpers is an attitude of helping. This means that the
attitude of wanting to help is one of the most supportive characteristics that a helper
can possess. Being helpful is not necessarily doing tasks for others. There is a point
where doing too much for others deprives them of their autonomy. The most effective helper
knows how to help others help themselves.
It should be remembered that people who are supportive communicate this
support through words and action. It is not enough to say, "I want to help." It
has to be said through your actions. The way you say something often communicates more
than what you say. Finally, we should remember as peer support givers that the most
powerful gift we can give to others is a sense of hope. I have always liked Chief Dan
George's (l990) philosophy in this regard. He said:
"Hopes? Doesn't everybody have some? There is one deep in my
heart. That something of myself remains behind as a bridge, however small, so that some
wanderer may cross over and, while doing so, may sense the builder's deep feeling for
brotherhood."
Relationship Enhancement
A helping relationship is one that is authentic, equal and positive, in
which both partners feel trust in each other. Goldstein and Myers (l986) have identified
various methods for making a relationship a more positive one. Figure 14.1 shows the
progression of these enhancements and their effect on the relationship. As the helper
demonstrates expertness, empathy, etc., the relationship is characterized
Figure 14.1: The Progression of Relationship Enhancements
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Helper Relationship Consequence ³
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Expertness ³
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Credibility Liking ³
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Empathy -> Openness ³
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Warmth Respect -> ³
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Self-Disclosure -> Change ³
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Attending Trust ³
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Supportive ³
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by liking, mutual respect, and deep trust. The consequence is openness
and change on the part of the person. Change in the person is, after all, the goal of the
helping relationship.
Supportive Behaviours in a Group
You have probably been in groups that were task oriented and with
people who worked cooperatively, but you have probably also been in groups that were
exactly the opposite. These groups were unpleasant, inefficient, and anything but
cooperative. The peer support group that follows the peer support training should be a
continual source of growth as you apply your peer support skills.
When people build a supportive group, the most common mistake made is
that no energy is put into processing how the work gets done. It almost seems groups
forget process and concentrate only on goals. As a result, the group grows and so does the
number of opinions and points of view. Another common mistake made by individuals within a
group is a lack of awareness. Unfortunately, often group members are unwilling to explore
issues further - that is concerns or ideas they have contributed to and shard with the
group. As a result, a sense of superficiality often occurs within the group. The third
common mistake groups make is they often neglect to address how people feel about what is
happening in the group. Unfortunately, the result is often a "dog-eat-dog"
attitude where sensitivity and respect for others' feelings concerning process and
personal issues are disregarded.
The support group is designed to help you share the work load as you
help others. It gives you an opportunity to come together and share ideas, strategies, and
feelings about the work and your life. The essence of the group is a place where you can
get unqualified support.
The following structure is designed to help you participate in the
support group in a cooperative and mutually supportive manner. You should keep in mind
that nothing is perfect and there will be times when the group can be unpleasant, but you
have the power to make it work for you. The key is cooperation and respect.
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Unfinished Business: The purpose of unfinished business is to air and
resolve any issues from the past meeting which, if left unresolved, can potentially block
the current meeting.
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New Business: The topics to be discussed for each meeting are put into an
agenda or list. Anything, no matter how small, can be added to this agenda. Next, each
item on the agenda is put in an order of priority. The most important to the least
important is one method. Another method is taking the easiest topic first.
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Discussion: Each topic should be discussed in an open manner. Decisions
which have to be made can be decided by the group. To ensure everyone understands what the
decision is, the decision can be paraphrased. For example, if you are talking about a
person with whom you are having difficulty, you may want to ask others how they might deal
with the problem. As others share their ideas you can decide what solution would best fit
for you and your circumstance.
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Sharing: This part of the meeting is devoted to sharing thoughts and
feelings about what occurred in the meeting. For example, you could say that you have
learned a good method of helping someone who is sad or you could extend your appreciation
to those who have expressed something important to you. A good way to end every group is
to thank everyone for their contribution.
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Remember:
You are most effective when you:
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are a good listener;
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give others a chance to speak by limiting your responses;
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are respectful to others' opinions, ideas, and experiences;
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do not ask irrelevant questions or give irrelevant answers;
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are specific and concrete;
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do not waste time;
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support your views with facts;
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do not use the meeting as a place to complain; and
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are positive!
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ACTIVITY 14.3: Sharing Something Positive and Supportive
TIME: 15 Minutes
DIRECTIONS: Ask the participants to get into a circle. Ask them to look
at the person sitting on their left and think of one positive and supportive thing you
could say to him or her. Now ask for a volunteer to start the sharing and go around the
group until everyone has had a chance to share. Rather than ask for a volunteer, you could
begin the process of sharing, which could also serve as a model.
ACTIVITY 14.4: Unconditional Group Listening
TIME: 50 Minutes
DIRECTIONS: This activity is based on the idea that everyone in the
group should have the opportunity to speak out on any issue they desire. Explain to the
group that each group member will be allowed up to 5 minutes to talk about any issue
without any interruption or comments. After each participant finishes, summarize their
main points.
ACTIVITY 14.5: Brainstorming Difficult Cases
TIME: 20-90 Minutes
DIRECTIONS: Explain to the participants that the purpose of this
activity is to explore and find the best method of handling difficult interaction. When
participants share a situation, no names should be used and the sharing should be totally
confidential. Allow 5 minutes for the participant to share and write down the main points
on the blackboard, using the following outline:
1. Background of the problem
2. Action taken
3. Brainstorming possible actions
4. Action to be taken
Explain to the participants that brainstorming is a technique for
finding potential solutions for difficult problems. Even solutions that seem simplistic or
unusual will be considered. Allow about 20 minutes to solicit ideas which you will write
on the blackboard. During the brainstorming phase there should be no questions or
comments. Next, take each potential solution and discuss it in terms of its possibilities
(pluses and minuses), using as much time as necessary. Once all the ideas have been
discussed, ask the group which might be best. Be sure to check with the presenter on the
acceptability of the solution and be specific as to how to carry it through.
ACTIVITY 14.6: Role Playing Difficult Cases
TIME: 60 Minutes
DIRECTIONS: This activity is designed to help the participants explore
a difficult case by experiencing the problem from the client and helper view-point. First,
ask for a volunteer to present a difficult case, with the relevant background and a
starting situation. Now ask the presenter to role play the client and demonstrate what you
might do. Next, discuss what was demonstrated and how it could be improved. Allow about 10
minutes for background, 10 minutes for the role play, and 10 minutes for processing. Ask
the participants to get into dyads and role play the client and helper, allowing the
process to go in whatever direction Allow time at the end for processing the interactions
in each dyad. Make sure everyone has the chance to role play both the helper and client.
Allow 10 minutes for each role play and 10 minutes for processing.
ACTIVITY 14.7: Brainstorming Experiences of Building New Relationships
TIME: 20 Minutes
DIRECTIONS: Tell the participants that "brainstorming" is a
method of getting ideas, regardless of whether these ideas are good or not. Using a
blackboard, ask participants to share all their ideas on how to build a new relationship.
After writing the ideas down, go through the suggestions and discuss their merits. For
example, someone might suggest introducing a lonely person to his/her friends. You could
ask, "How would this help?" or "What are the disadvantages or
advantages?"
ACTIVITY 14.8: Similarities and Differences
TIME: 20 Minutes
DIRECTIONS: Share with the participants that recognizing differences
and similarities in others is a great asset in
helping. Some behaviours draw people together, while others do the
opposite. Ask the participants to choose a partner and sit facing each other. After
deciding who will go first, participants share how similar they are (e.g., both are
outgoing). Next, ask the participants to repeat the process, but this time sharing
differences (e.g., leaning forward while talking versus using hands while talking). Allow
participants 3 minutes for each of the similarities and 3 minutes for each of the
differences (12 minutes total). Next, ask the participants to give feedback to each other
on the sharing, paying close attention to how each felt during the sharing. Allow 4
minutes for each participant.
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|Page Updated: May 2, 2000 |